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The Preacher!

Performing thew ceremony at sea will be the non-denominational Tarot Island King High Priest, otherwise known as KING KHAN!

 

Khan

 

For those of you unfamiliar with the guru of transcultural garage rock, czeck out King Khan and the Shrines @ KING KHAN & THE SHRINES

 

The Photographer!

The official photographer at the wedding will be none other than the incomparable John Paul Bichard.

 

 

Czeck out his amazing work: Bichard

PINKY’S PEEPSHOW In February

On February 26, Fez Wrecker hosts a performance of Hurricane Irina’s Animal Farm, a Kabaret Burlesque based on the novel by George Orwell. This performance is ONE NIGHT ONLY, so be se sure to get there early.

 

Game Changer

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I haven’t written much about Omaha, a close second favorite poker game of mine, (the first being Fixed Limit Omaha Hi/Lo). In Europe there aren’t a lot of people brave, experienced or dumb enough to engage in playing Pot Limit Omaha in the casinos, so on the rare occasions I do find a game and I’m sporting a decent bankroll, then I’m in that game like stink on cheese. Last chance I had to play was a single blind 2€ cash game at Lugner City casino in Wien a couple weeks ago…

I saw a play made by a fella which changed my entire perspective on Omaha, and I reckon on poker in general. Omaha is a real gambling game where when you bet big, you win large, but if you sneak into a lot of pots cheaply, you’ll whittle your chiplogs into a toothpick. Squeezing the field is more difficult, so there are more multi-handed flops seen than your average hold em round.

What I learned this day was that winning consistently at Omaha has more to do with the chips you save by folding better hands than the size of the pots you actually win. The pots you rake into your arsenal will provide for a nice fortress, but because you’ll find yourself seeing a higher percentage of flops, turns and rivers, you have to be prepared to fold the nuts to preserve the towers.

I learned this the old fashioned way… by not doing it.

The other come to Jesus or Buddha, etc lesson requires more resolve to not get wound up about the coulda/shoulda/woulda of seeing the rivers of the hands you surrendered. You mucked, walk away.
Don’t get upset, it’s Omaha.

Next chapter… The play by play commentary of said hand.
Next month: cashing out gracefully

UPCOMING PERFORMANCES

Upcoming Performances:

SEP 20 • 2013 • FRIDAY
Berlin Burlesque Festival, Wintergarten Varieté – BERLIN • Emcee w/Eve Champagne

SEP 21 • 2013 • SATURDAY
Rocket Roll Festival, Posthalle Würzburg – WÜRZBURG • Burlywolf w/Hurricane Irina

SEP 25 • 2013 • WEDNESDAY
Pinky’s Peepshow, Bassy Club – BERLIN • The Prodigal Son returns as Emcee!

OCT 02 • 2003 • WEDNESDAY
La Fete Fatale, Bassy Club – BERLIN • Fez as Number 6…

OCT 05 • 2013 • SATURDAY
secret location -BERLIN • Fez deals blackjack at the underground Bugsy Club

OCT 13 • 2013 • SUNDAY
Sunday Soirée, Primitiv Bar – BERLIN • Emcee

Plus: upcoming gigs by The Bolshoi Bandits, The Junkyard Jugband, the Baily Legal Affair — watch this space!

The Berlin Burlesque Festival

Ladies and Germans, it has been some months since Herr Wrecker has wielded his silver-tongued lashings on the unsuspecting Publikum of the Burlesque Bereich…
and now he’s back with bells on!!!

Fez will stroll the red-carpet at the Heimathafen on Thursday 19. Sept – in attendance for the newcomer’s night & to support and heckle his Pinky’s cohort Trixie Trainwreck.

On Friday, 20. Sept, Fez will take the mic and don the stage at the legendary Wintergarten Theater together with co-host, the German Queen of Burlesque: EVE CHAMPAGNE for the so-called “Odd Night” of the festival, featuring the more lurid and bizarre acts.

Do czeck it out!

Montenegro – Poker Myth-busting

View from the balcony

View from the balcony

 

Despite what the modern James Bond movies might have you believe, I am here to tell you, my faithful friends that there is NO SUCH THING as poker in Montenegro.  This is at least my third trip here, one of my very favorite holiday destinations.  The last two times I visited the casinos in both Sveti Stefan and Bar– tried to get into poker tournaments, but there were never enough players to complete even one table. At those times, I usually only played tournaments in casinos, and I wasn’t deep pocketed enough to play cash game.

This time, tonight I was prepared for any eventuality.  All of the billboards and posters around town for the Avala Casino here in Budva advertised itself as the place to be for poker, etc.  Not only that, but the casino is a 7 minute walk from the humble “Sobe” or apartment where my gal and I are staying– and being on holiday here for only one week, she found it in her sweet little heart to grant me one night of poker on this trip.

On Tuesday, we went in to scope out the action the day before, and among myself, the floorman, the conciergette and my attorney– using a mish-mash of English, German, Russian, Serbian and probably even a little Spanish thrown in just to keep it weird, we divined without a shadow of a doubt that there would be a tournament on Wednesday night starting at 21:00… and there was cash game every night starting at 22:00.

So armed with a nasty tourist raccoon-eyes sunburn, a loud Hawaiian shirt and a pocket full o’ Euros, (Montenegro’s official currency IS the Euro, even though they ain’t EU yet), I sauntered through the boom-boom tourist-filled summer night streets, into the air-conditioned gambling hall at 10 minutes to 21:00, ready for the tournament action, and/or cash game thereafter.

Ignoring my previous experiences, and ever the optimist, I still feigned disappointment when they informed me there WAS no tournament tonight.  Nevertheless, I asked if there would be cash game, and they assured me that by 22:00 there would be cash game.  Now this is where holiday casinos getcha… you wait around for players to show up, and once you get bored or ancy, you start throwing coins in machines or start buying chips for a few rounds of blackjack to kill the time.

Well, think what you want about your humble narrator here, but this aint my first barbecue, and I’ve long since lost the urge to gamble with money.  I’ll play skill games for cash anytime, anywhere– but I DO NOT play games against THE HOUSE.  If I have one rule in gaming it is that, and that alone.  That is the fundamental difference between Poker and other casino games like roulette, craps, blackjack or slots.  In those games, you are playing against the croupier, the slot machines or the tumbling ball or dice.  In those games, the odds are always mathematically stacked in favor of the house. That’s how those games function, that’s how the house makes money.  Poker on the other hand, is a game played between players only.  The house provides the table, the seats, the cards, the chips and the dealer– the dealer and/or the house do not play. In tournaments, a small fee is payed by each registered player, and the winners usually tip the dealer pool well when cashing out.  In poker cash games, the dealer takes a ‘rake’ or a percentage of each pot over a certain amount, usually 5%.  The house makes their money from the winnings of the players, and the only advantage one player has over another is his abilities and his/her BALLS.

So needless to say, I didn’t remain in the casino to get tantalized by the buzzing bells and boring bimbos– I went to the lobby of this overpriced resort and played Scopa on my iPhone for about 45 minutes.  I went back down there to see how many players were lurking by the machines waiting for sunburned fish like me to stumble in for a few drunken hands of Texas Hold ‘Em — and how many were there now by 21:45?  You guessed it: Zippity-Doo-Dah. Nil.

I couldn’t be bothered to wait around for another hour for more disappointment, so I headed back to the little bungalow to join my sweetheart and earn extra boy-friend points by blowing that popsicle stand to come hang with her.

Poker just wasn’t in the cards… and I was still the big winner after all!

Fez back on the Burlesque circuit in April —

Cha Cha Cha!
After a four-month hibernation, Fez returns to the Burly Action this April with a seasonal slew of sleazy shows:

April 4 – Tübingen, DE – The Last Resort – w/Silk Ribbon Sisters, Rock-n-Tease

April 5 – Kreuz Obermarchtal, DE – Mühlweg – w/Silk Ribbon Sisters, Rock-n-Tease

April 6 – Karlsruhe, DE – Die Kurbel – w/The Roadrunners, Michael Diamond, Silk Ribbon Sisters, Rock-n-Tease

April 21 – Berlin, DE – Wild at Heart – sitting in with April Walz in her solo show (doesn’t sound so solo to me!)

April 24 – Berlin, DE – Bassy Club – Pinky’s Peepshow w/Frank Sanazi & The League of Decadent Bastards

April 27 – Stockholm, SE – Kolingsborg – Berliner Nacht presents “Cold War Cabaret” with Hurricane Irina and more (see flyer!)

April 27 — Stockholm